Major news media reported in the past weeks that the Churches in Columbia
have been baptising thousands of Columbians every hour since a buzz among
the people that a devilish beast would descend upon them on June 6, 1996.
WHAT'S THE STORY?
FEATURE STORY:
that if a conversation starts out with one of
the following questions, things are pretty grim
and can only get grimmer:
So what do you do?
Gol, it's really hot out tonight isn't it? (or other Weather
?s)
You come here alot?
Boy, I'm sooo tired!
So I find that the best things to do is talk the big talk.
The big talk these days is personal
news services.
I can tell you right now that the only ones that
anyone's ever really going to use are the ones
that are free. Ok, so the content may not be as "deep."
But if you can remember back to the days when deep was
important to most people, then you're probably not
surfing the web. This is about quick news and an overview
of the general climate. It's about diletantism
at its best.
For example, everyone wants to know something about $Money.
In America we love money, and we love to hate the guys
who are making it hand over fist. But we'd love to have a
little of it too. So you're probably wondering...
When am I going to make the dough
on the latest Net IPO?
If you clicked through on the IPO you now know what it is.
As far as making money on it goes, don't hold your breath.
And don't lay down your cash unless you have cash to splash.
Why?
Because the only people who're pretty
sure to rake it in are what we like to call "friends of
the family." You know, friends. (Potential) business
associates. Good clients with cash to splash.
If you're a regular sap, you
just gots to take yer chances.
Ergo, rule #1: Don't get caughts standing when the music stops.
Now's a shaky time to play the market. But now that individuals
have so much more access to trading, and at such a low price,
the guys on the (Wall) Street don't know what to make of the
whole mess. Stop me before I go too far, but need I mention Iomega?
I think not.
To tell you the truth, I'm tired of reading about the economy.
What I need now is a good dose of Northern
Exposure. I've always
wanted to see Aurora Borealis, which is some kind of Tree
Hugger's light show. Probably pretty pretty...
But let me drag you out of your dreams of Nature and back into
some more practial matters: COMDEX
and VISCOMM.
VISCOMM, the Visual Communications Expo
(San Francisco, June 1996) doesn't have much info on the
Web, so to contact them write the
VISCOMM people.
Yes, they both sound scary, and certainly remind *me* of
one of those early Netizen neuromancer stories (you know,
anonymous corporate scum -vs- good hearted and idealistic
neonerdic rebel.) But I can't resist zooming in on some of the
"cool stuff."
BTW, why don't we ask
Excite how many times the two words
"cool" and "stuff" show up on the Web! Or better yet,
how many people
per month (ppm?) search for the two words.
They'd be happy to tell you, then charge $$$ to flash your
"Hey! Come to Znews cool site!" banner.
And here's a new term for the dictionaries: Only $XX per 1,000
"IMPRESSIONS."
Whelp, I for one am *very* impressed.
I think I'll implode.
Get it?
Bone pick of the week:
Dateline: Cupertino
Apple Computer Company, still floundering,
has apparently tossed
some money to sponsor a site called "Eon4" or somesuch. We won't
even
hotlink it since it's so dumb.
The bone is this: Apple Computer Company is so far out that it's
about to Miss the Boat. Has anybody tried out any hot new Web software
on a Mac yet? No? OF COURSE NOT! If you attended Internet World,
you'd have noticed that just about nobody has their Mac software
out... "until June." Likely story.
Next week Znews will introduce some of the regular columnists:
The WWWhite Movie Mogul: reviews, et al.
"Elle" on her latest Rants
The Whiz on Stocks (and bonds too?)
Ms. Argentine reports on Adventure Travel
D. Big Tree on Environmental thangs
and Stew Gott on Sports
and of course,
Znews Daily Scoupe
...which you should probably check every day.
In case you might miss something.